1
|
Having the power and not making
use of it: that's what I call civilization. ( Buddingh )
|
2
|
Blood transfusion: the most boring way to get Aids. ( Mortier )
|
3
|
A cynic is someone who - when smelling flowers - looks
around and expects to find a coffin. ( van Broeckhoven)
|
4
|
A philosopher: a weight willing to weigh itself. ( Verhoeven
)
|
5
|
A gentleman is someone who keeps the door open while his
wife is putting out the trashcan.
|
6
|
Memories are the wine cellars of the soul. ( Timmermans )
|
7
|
A camel: an animal that was made of all the pieces left
on the last day of Creation. ( Carmiggelt )
|
8
|
A psychiatrist: someone who doesn't have to worry as long as
other people do. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
9
|
Sugar: a white compound which gives a bad taste to
your coffee when you forget to put it in. ( van
Broeckhoven )
|
10
|
A shape: something formed by a swimsuit when filled
with a beautiful girl. ( Verbeeck )
|
11
|
Love is : coughing in stereo in bed at night. (
Verbeeck )
|
12
|
The 10 most
beautiful years in a woman's life
are those between 25 and 27. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
13
|
Cold-blooded
murderer committed his crime once
again. He sawed his wife in two again: this time
breadthways. ( Thijs )
|
14
|
Humour is giving sad thoughts a happy funeral. (
Olaerts )
|
15
|
I like discussions with youngsters; it reminds me of the fact that I didn't know
it either in the past. ( Jonckheere )
|
16
|
The nice thing between man and woman is that they don't understand a thing about
each other. ( Bomans )
|
17
|
The human being is an animal that plays Bach with its forelegs.
( Aafjes )
|
18
|
The New Testament is the only detective who patently obviously
points out the reader as the guilty. ( Donner )
|
19
|
An opinion doesn't lose anything of its value in spite of
people violating it themselves. ( Bomans )
|
20
|
Worrying about
your age means not having any real
worries. ( Mülisch )
|
21
|
An ideal computer,
still to be invented: you put in all your problems and
they never get out anymore. ( Callewaert )
|
22
|
One doesn't have a fruit basket delivered to an ill greengrocer. ( Van Kooten
and De Bie )
|
23
|
Suicide: that's the last thing I'll do. ( Smit )
|
24
|
Know yourself: you will be mistaken as well for once. (
Aafjes )
|
25
|
Ask a pocket calculator and
calculate how often you don't need the thing. ( Vrij
Nederland )
|
26
|
Words should only be used to improve silence. (
Jonckheere )
|
27
|
Philosophy is a big word for what the common man calls
"pondering". ( Schouwenaars )
|
28
|
Real connoisseurs of wine can
be recognized by the dust on their brains. ( Verhoeven )
|
29
|
A one-day working
week? Not on a Monday, I hope? (
van Broeckhoven )
|
30
|
The biggest danger of working is
that people start to like it in the end. ( Buddingh )
|
31
|
Considering reality as
dreams is even much more dangerous. ( Olaerts )
|
32
|
Shop opened every working day,
likewise on Monday and Friday. ( Kadé Bruin )
|
33
|
The best way to fold a map is
otherwise. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
34
|
According to an investigation: 93%
of women have once seen a ghost at home. Husband
not included. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
35
|
Friendship gives eyes to the distant and a voice to the
silence. ( Daisne )
|
36
|
A friend: someone who means better towards you than you
do yourself. ( Buddingh )
|
37
|
You have to break good intentions already in January, otherwise you'll never
succeed doing it. ( Terzijde )
|
38
|
If your youngest child needs sex education, you have told the facts of life badly to the
youngest but one. ( Verhoeven )
|
39
|
Also through adultship
flows the river of my youth. ( Depeuter )
|
40
|
When is a pedestrian allowed to cross the street? When an empty spot
passes. ( Verbeeck )
|
41
|
The monkeys can't help it that
we look so much like them. In fact they had deserved a
better destiny. ( Vloemans )
|
42
|
To hesitate is to give faith
the time to preceed our decision. ( de Valckenaere )
|
43
|
The one who gets absorbed in absurdity
becomes invulnerable. ( Bomans )
|
44
|
My wife is so suspicious
that even her eyes keep an eye on each other. ( van
Broeckhoven )
|
45
|
There aren't any distances
anymore, but it requires hours and hours to persuade
yourself of it. ( Anthierens )
|
46
|
You can save everything on alcohol,
except secrets. ( Komrij )
|
47
|
Never go out alone.
Always take yourself with you. ( Jonckheere )
|
48
|
He was so afraid
that they had to sedate him, before announcing the result
of the investigation. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
49
|
That which one calls 'fear' in
poetic way, is the deepest belief that one shouldn't have
been born. ( Greshoff )
|
50
|
The theft of an antique clock
seems a disastre to me, particularly because you'll have
to re-paper the room. ( Verhoeven )
|
51
|
You don't have to start out understanding each other. You have to end up understanding
each other. ( Buddingh )
|
52
|
The one who wants to avoid temptation,
has to escape from boredom. But the one who wants to
escape from boredom, ends up in temptation. ( F.Jansen )
|
53
|
I have noticed that most people
act polite, only towards people who don't know yet how
unpolite they are. ( Jonckheere )
|
54
|
"This place was
reserved for someone" is a thing we only say when
nobody is sitting at that place. ( Kadé Bruin )
|
55
|
The most welcome visitors are those who call to say that they cannot
come. ( Jonckheere )
|
56
|
The plus-point of non-alcoholic beer is that you don't order a second one. (
Verhoeven )
|
57
|
Blood: it runs around inside our bodies like a fool,
looking for a rip or a gap. ( P.Grijs )
|
58
|
A good book doesn't have to give us something new, but it
has to deprive us of something, namely: one of our
certainties. ( Greshoff )
|
59
|
Sometimes a conversation only gets really lively and open-hearted when
the guests are standing inside the hall, putting on their
coats. ( Buddingh )
|
60
|
Cynism is: buying a car because riding a bike is
becoming so dangerous with all these cars. ( Kadé Bruin
)
|
61
|
You don't get depressed
once in a while? Hello? Are you okay? ( Mortier )
|
62
|
I am not intelligent enough to be depressed;
I don't understand those sorts of problems. ( van
Broeckhoven )
|
63
|
Fat men of forty can do two things: doing keep-fit exercises or
start looking for a tactful tailer. ( Carmiggelt )
|
64
|
The only thing left for a fat man to
do, is to act like he is a very jovial type. ( Van Kooten
en De Bie )
|
65
|
A diplomat: a man who can persuade his wife of the fact
that an expensive furcoat makes her look fat. ( Verbeeck
)
|
66
|
I am very afraid of death, because I'm afraid to be born again after
that. ( Wim Kan )
|
67
|
To drink is to jump off a
roof, with the intention of only falling one storey. (
Carmiggelt )
|
68
|
My father is the biggest drunk in
town. Maybe that doesn't say much, but he lives in
New-York. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
69
|
A dream come true flows away like water between the
fingers. ( Ellschot )
|
70
|
A drug addict drowns in the experience in which the mystic
swims. ( Libbrecht )
|
71
|
Simplicity is not the characteristic of the beginner, it
is the hard fought for mark of the master. ( Bomans )
|
72
|
Once airborne, never think
about the meaning of 'final destination'. ( Verhoeven )
|
73
|
Equator, an imaginary line scientists draw around the
world to see where the warm spots are. ( Verbeeck )
|
74
|
Like all good things, parties
come in threefold: the preparation, the party itself and
thank god that it's over again. ( Kadé Bruin )
|
75
|
All that philosophers do is bring forth even more philosophy. (
W.F.Hermans )
|
76
|
Whenever I write something in a formula
I discover that the contrary is also true. ( Aafjes )
|
77
|
On somewhat elaborate parties
one is not allowed to talk to the hostess. One also does
not address a general during a battle. ( Bomans )
|
78
|
User manual for a new device. First topic: have a strong
drink. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
79
|
A lot of people have problems
turning their words
into thoughts. ( Verhoeven )
|
80
|
To tell a secret
to a woman is to give it to the wind. ( Van Acker )
|
81
|
You were right when
just then you told me you were wrong. ( Jonckheere )
|
82
|
Not I believe because I
understand, but I understand because I believe. (
Greshoff )
|
83
|
Luck is a disaster. You get used to it so quickly.
If you're not careful you might even get to enjoy life
too. ( Tom Lanoye )
|
84
|
That is what I find the most
beautiful and real
happiness: not knowing why, without
a reason. ( Timmermans )
|
85
|
Are you happy?
Great, let's talk about funier things. ( van Broeckhoven
)
|
86
|
Everybody loves the dangers he
does not fear. ( Buddingh )
|
87
|
Many people thank their good conscience to their bad memory. ( Bomans )
|
88
|
Since I wear glasses in the car, the traffic has become much
busier. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
89
|
What did you do in the evening at the campsite, when portable TV didn't exist yet? ( Verhoeven
)
|
90
|
A compromise
is the most honest way to set
everybody unsatisfied. ( A.Pola )
|
91
|
A diary is a book of non-sent letters. ( Raes )
|
92
|
Some people only express their gratitude
by coming to your funeral. ( K.Jonckheere )
|
93
|
How come that no matter which
teenager can easily find
a drugsdealer and no policeman can?
( Schippers )
|
94
|
A democrat : someone who's mostly against dictatorships he
cannot earn a coin with. ( Buddingh' )
|
95
|
Thinking makes young, because thinking makes hesitating
and hesitating puts us every time again at the beginning
of our live. (J.Daisne )
|
96
|
You have to keep pictures
in which you look old. That way you can prove in 10 years
time that you haven't changed at all. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
97
|
Learn from others'
faults, because life is too short
to make them all yourself. ( Kadé Bruin )
|
98
|
Do you also own kinds of
appliances with a
guarantee on every part that cannot
break? ( Verhoeven )
|
99
|
A family never has to make a trip by car when there
are more children than the car has windows. ( van
Broeckhoven )
|
100
|
Jokes about women aren't funny. Unless you can laugh with them. (
Freek de Jonghe )
|
101
|
Some people get carried away by
their passion, others by their self-control. ( C.Buddingh' )
|
102
|
Homesickness isn't what it used to be anymore. ( P.De Vries
)
|
103
|
Remembrance is a dog that lays down where it wants to. (
Nooteboom )
|
104
|
I might not agree with
you and you might not agree with me, but let us at least
agree about that. ( P.Van Vliet )
|
105
|
In a hotel leaflet : room
completely
isolated. By the way, same thing
for the hotel. ( Mortier )
|
106
|
When you fall into a canal, you
have to miaow anxiously, because a cat is more likely to save. ( Verhoeven )
|
107
|
One who loses his personality
in marriage, never had one. (Callewaert )
|
108
|
Sorry I forgot to put the amount in this envelope, but I'd
already sealed it when the idea came to me. ( van
Broeckhoven )
|
109
|
Boys fight because girls are stronger. ( Cor de Jonghe )
|
110
|
Journalists : the good ones don't have a life, the bad ones
don't have a job. ( Wim Kan )
|
111
|
Camel: an animal which looks like it was assembled by
a research team. ( L.Verbeeck )
|
112
|
A kitchen which thinks it's complete doesn't understand a
thing about women. ( Jonckers )
|
113
|
It is allowed to children to
make a fool out of adults, but not longer than they
calculated themselves. ( Bomans )
|
114
|
Clothing is nudity in a more subtle degree. ( Schepens )
|
115
|
I like any colour, as
long as it's red. ( L.P.Boon )
|
116
|
Would you like red or white wine?
Doesn't matter, I'm colourblind anyway. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
117
|
"Maternity : children not allowed" Of course this should read: "Unless
accompanied by their mother" ( G.Durnez )
|
118
|
Art and science are like women. They want to be conquered. (
Bomans )
|
119
|
Quality : this washingmachine is my first husband's. (
Verhoeven )
|
120
|
Behind all sorrow
something rests which make you sigh from it's beauty. (
Timmermans )
|
121
|
Fifty is a wonderful time, especially when you're
sixty. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
122
|
To say that the army
has to be democratised, means that from now on all
circles have to be squares. ( Walschap )
|
123
|
A lie is a truth that takes its environment into
account. ( Weemoedt )
|
124
|
He who knows the principle of
sleeping and staying alert simultaneously, can imagine
what poetry is like. (Greshoff )
|
125
|
As long as you keep enough principles,
you never have to think. ( C.Buddingh' )
|
126
|
Keep London tidy. Eat a pigeon a day. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
127
|
You never get a second chance to
make a first
impression. ( W.Triesthof )
|
128
|
If there is no eternity,
believers and non-believers are at the same level,
neither of the two will notice. ( L.Verhagen )
|
129
|
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison. If
he hadn't invented electricity, we would be watching television by candlelight
nowadays. ( W. van Broeckhoven )
|
130
|
She was so emancipated
that I almost started to feel gay. ( Schouwenaars )
|
131
|
Leaving the lights
on in your house when you're away
has only one advantage: the burglar won't trip over
anything. ( W.van Broeckhoven)
|
132
|
Introverted: to dream that you are having a nightmare. (
Verhoeven )
|
133
|
And remember this: once defrosted,
it's impossible to
freeze your husband in again. (
Verhoeven )
|
134
|
If love is the answer, would
you be so kind to repeat the question? ( Van Kooten en De
Bie )
|
135
|
He who listens to
women and old men quickly becomes their friend. ( M.
Gijsen )
|
136
|
Girls, not my kind of thing: If they act sweet, I
have to laugh. If I act sweet, they have to laugh. (
Bomans )
|
137
|
A good idea knocks before entering your head. ( Jonckers )
|
138
|
Hand me your passport and I'll tell you who you are. ( Guy Mortier )
|
139
|
I lost my passport and ask you kindly to hand me a new one. I hope
that the picture from the old can be reused. ( Van
Remoortere )
|
140
|
I'm so vain that
compliments insult me. ( Jan Greshoff )
|
141
|
I only hit my wife
because she was telling everywhere that I was beating
her. ( Van Broeckhoven )
|
142
|
In Italy and only there, uggly things are beautiful. ( Greshoff )
|
143
|
If you're in the Jazz world
and more than 10 people are crazy about your music,
you're commercial. ( Van Broeckhoven )
|
144
|
The reason why there are so many writers? Because you can buy books without reading
them. ( Anthierens )
|
145
|
The incestvilain was seropostitif: these days you can't even trust your own kids.
(Mortier )
|
146
|
To go to an abortion clinic with a
plastercast leg, because your skiing teacher was no
good in any aspect. ( Verhoeven )
|
147
|
Happiness is a foolish virgin who lets herself be kissed
by every strong young man. ( P.van Ostaijen )
|
148
|
A good person: he seems like living in a cage, in which the
lions cannot jump because they can't get over their
astonishment. ( De Valckenaere )
|
149
|
You can learn a
lot from kids, for example the limits of your patience. (
Wiet van Broeckhoven )
|
150
|
Kids are only fun and spontaneous because adults are
so boring. ( Verhoeven )
|
151
|
For those who suffer,
the week has ten days. ( Max van Velsen )
|
152
|
The power of a man lies in seeing the pro's and the con's of
things, that of a woman lies in
being it. ( Bomans )
|
153
|
Behind every successful man
stands a stupified mother-in-law. ( Wiet van Broeckhoven
)
|
154
|
Unbelief is the most persistent religion. ( Bertus
Aafjes )
|
155
|
Firing people is good for profit and profit is good
for employment. ( Fons Jansen )
|
156
|
Nothing causes so much fuss as
people about to relax. ( L.Versteylen )
|
157
|
"Two standing places, please, and if possible next to
eachother." ( Wiet van Broeckhoven )
|
158
|
"Doctor, I would rather die
than have surgery" "The one does not exclude the
other."( Wiet van Broeckhoven
)
|
159
|
Everybody is completely willing to
share their opinion with others.( G. Van den Berghe )
|
160
|
Good judges of men can be found
between dentists and café proprietors. The first help
people with their pain, the second help them with their
failures. ( Bomans )
|
161
|
The Incas already sacrificed
people long before cars were invented. ( Verhoeven )
|
162
|
If tradesmen join hands, they
do it to prevent that the other goes faster. ( Van
Rompaey )
|
163
|
There's a very environmentally
friendly defoliant: autumn. ( F.Jansen )
|
164
|
Psychiatrist: "Your problem
is solved. You don't imagine yourself that you're inferior.
You are inferior." (W.van Broeckhoven )
|
165
|
There are people whose failure has
gone to their heads ( Buddingh )
|
166
|
Hint in a women's magazine:
ladies, do not wear clothes that scare your cat. ( W.van Broeckhoven )
|
167
|
Being a mother is
answering many questions and able to guess at dreams. (
Lut Lanssens )
|
168
|
It's not the point whether we can
call a friendly
chief of state a murderer, but
whether we can call a murderer a friendly chief of state.
( J.Wolkers )
|
169
|
We've all got our own beds, except our dad, he's got to sleep next to mum.
( L.Verbeeck )
|
170
|
Traffic wardens walk that slowly
to avoid making wrong-parked cars suspicious.
( Toon Verhoeven )
|
171
|
Happy me that my grandparents
didn't take the
pill; otherwise I'd be an orphan
now. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
172
|
In the meantime, there's something
repulsive and very touching about very bad poetry,
just like there's something repulsive and touching about
very ugly girls. ( C.Buddingh )
|
173
|
He was so pretentious
that he didn't even want to be in the same car with his
own driver. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
174
|
If everyone praises
you, you have your own funeral got going. ( de
Valckenaere )
|
175
|
Even problems have got the
right to exist, therefore don't solve them. ( Jonckheere
)
|
176
|
As soon as we will be able to
project publicity onto the clouds, we will definitely do that. (
Jonckers )
|
177
|
I don't go on a journey to
see, but to keep myself from seeing for a while. (
Greshoff )
|
178
|
I had decided to get rich while
sleeping, but I couldn't get to sleep. ( Jonckers )
|
179
|
A gossip talks about others, a
driveller about himself and a brilliant speaker
talks about you. ( van Broeckhoven )
|
180
|
If you don't smoke
anymore, everything smells better, especially cigarettes.
( Van Kooten en De Bie )
|
181
|
Peace is like a child that smiles at you every time
you look at it. ( Toon Hermans )
|
182
|
The fun of buying beer
is that you don't have to look at the date. ( Van
Broeckhoven )
|
183
|
Admiration : jealousy wearing one's Sunday best. (
Lambrecht )
|
184
|
The two main questions of our time are : "How do I loose weight" and
"Where do I leave my car?" ( Wim Kan )
|
185
|
I don't believe in superstition, it only brings bad luck. ( Van Broeckhoven )
|
186
|
A conservative is someone
wanting to keep what he already lost. ( Durnez )
|
187
|
Being dead is waking up on the
wrong side of your dreams. ( Harry Mulisch )
|
188
|
Doctors work wonders that often manifest in a different
world. ( Olaerts )
|
189
|
Do not fear death, as
it is your future. ( Op de Beeck )
|
190
|
Marriage problems are only to be solved when there's nothing on
your TV. ( Verhoeven )
|
191
|
Mozart? Isn't he the one who wrote the soundtrack for
"Amadeus" ? ( Van Broeckhoven)
|
192
|
When a man shows up naked in
public, he's arrested. When a woman does, she's cheered
at. ( G.Van Aelst )
|
193
|
Love your
neighbour like you love your car
and your dog. ( Kadé Bruin )
|
194
|
No one can think for
an hour and feel good afterwards. ( Jan Leyers )
|
195
|
If you don't mention names, everyone knows who's meant. ( Kinnaer )
|
196
|
Loving nature is proof enough that you're out of it. ( Bomans
)
|
197
|
Starting a new
year is nice, if only your
"sell-by-date" wouldn't come nearer. ( Terzijde
)
|
198
|
Where do nudists
leave their car keys after having locked their car? ( Van
Broeckhoven )
|
199
|
A mirror shows a woman's
youth and a man's age. ( Cees Buddingh )
|
200
|
Try finding a place where it's so quiet, you
can hear the earth turn round its axis. ( Wim Kan )
|
201
|
Within the ability to explain the
things we sense, lies the human balance. ( G.Van
Acker )
|
202
|
If you're really not good at something, make sure it makes people laugh. ( Jonckers )
|
203
|
I was a cute baby, actually, but I
was swapped at the hospital. ( W. van Broeckhoven )
|
204
|
Some people you'd like to burry twice. Just to make sure. (
Schouwenaars )
|
205
|
Civilisation: Applause after a "Requiem". (
Terzijde )
|
206
|
I never open my husband's letters,
but this one said "Confidential". ( W.van Broeckhoven )
|
207
|
Computers will never be able to do more than we do,
because we made them. Actually, that's exactly what the
apes said about us. ( Verhoeven )
|
208
|
On every dead
person's face I seem to read the same message: "Is
this all there is to being dead?" ( Jonckheere )
|
209
|
In half of the married couples I meet, at least one of them looks as if he or
she's being held hostage. ( Verhoeven )
|
210
|
To be honest, I must admit I'm
lying. ( Guy Mortier )
|
211
|
A poem is good when you can read it time and time
again without losing its rhyme and rhythm. ( Buckinx )
|
212
|
Writing a poem is
like walking around with your brain in the palm of your
hands. ( Vroman )
|
213
|
Only after it's over, luck is
visible. ( Bomans )
|
214
|
I remember luck, it
was so big it hurt. ( Connie Palmen )
|
215
|
God has too many intermediaries who want to work
for their own account. ( Olaerts )
|
216
|
It's a mistake to think women are vain. Only
men are. Women only wish to be the subject of that
vanity. ( Bomans )
|
217
|
One can only feel young when
being old, but then it's no longer possible. ( P.Theys )
|
218
|
There's absolutely nothing to laugh
about in this world. Keeping this in mind, there's still
a lot to laugh about. ( Carmiggelt )
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219
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A work of art reveals the presence of a secret, not the
secret itself. ( Greshoff )
|
220
|
Try to find people's weakness
and you immediately know where not to hit them. (
Buddingh )
|
221
|
My grandfather used to say:
"Try doing things a bit slower and it'll go
quicker." ( Toon Hermans )
|
222
|
"I'd like to apply for the job of
lion tamer" - "I'm sorry but I just hired
someone. However, feel free to come back tomorrow."
( W.van Broeckhoven )
|
223
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A teacher is like a
hour-glass for eggs that have already been boiled. (
K.Olaerts )
|
224
|
Teacher: Someone who doesn't know either, but who gets
paid for it. ( Grijs )
|
225
|
Maybe life's like a letter, only
to be opened after death. ( Vuylsteke )
|
226
|
Life: Talking spiritedly while queuing at the
counter and notice that it's your turn all for sudden. (
F.Jansen )
|
227
|
The art of life is feeling the
same way at home as you feel while travelling. ( Bomans )
|
228
|
I don't take life insurance. I know someone who has been paying one for
over 30 years now and he still isn't dead. ( W. van
Broeckhoven )
|
229
|
Only people who have it all read thrillers.
Those in need read uneventful books. ( Bomans )
|
230
|
The greater the love, the
fewer the things you tell each other. ( B.Mesotten )
|
231
|
Literature, in a limping and gasping way, always catches
up with man's true emotions. ( L.P.Boon )
|
232
|
There's nothing more difficult
than reacting harmoniously to praise. (
Carmiggelt )
|
233
|
All day long he does nothing and he doesn't even like that. ( W.van
Broeckhoven )
|
234
|
Lazy people get up at 6 o'clock in the morning so
they spend their days in idleness. ( W.van Broeckhoven )
|
235
|
Men only love one thing, so they
are not demanding. ( Hoste )
|
236
|
A man loves a
woman when it only takes him 5
minutes to spot her beauty in 10 different ways. (
Vercammen )
|
237
|
I don't think my husband has been
very faithful. My youngest child doesn't look like him at
all. ( W.van Broeckhoven )
|
238
|
A man admires the woman who makes
him think, respects the woman who makes him laugh, loves
the woman that makes him suffer and marries
the woman who flatters him. ( Callewaert )
|
239
|
"Do you come here often,
miss?" "I'm
your wife, stupid!" ( W.van
Broeckhoven )
|
240
|
Leaving a woman also means leaving behind the man she made of
him. ( P.Theys )
|
241
|
The limit of indifference: a giraffe that shrugs its shoulders. ( Kadé
Bruin )
|
242
|
If you stop telling lies about
me, I shall stop telling the truth about you. ( W.van
Broeckhoven )
|
243
|
To finally put her lazy husband
to work, the widow put his ashes in an hour-glass. ( J.de
Valckenaere )
|
244
|
The greatest misfortune
is fortune that never stops. ( Bomans )
|
245
|
One always takes oneself more seriously
than one is and others as more easy-going
than they really are. ( Buddingh )
|
246
|
Optimism: an agressive way of shallowness. ( Greshoff )
|
247
|
I minimize things, not
because I'm old, but to avoid getting old. (
Jonckheere )
|
248
|
Being able to smile after a defeat is
a victory in itself. ( Aafjes )
|
249
|
Pain's consciousness is also its limit. Only
children suffer without limits. ( Bomans )
|
250
|
In the old days one used to
quarrel with ones neighbours. Nowadays one lives in a stress
area. ( Verhoeven )
|
251
|
Students are the ones, smashing the windows of those
companies they later hope to lead. ( W.Kan )
|
252
|
You're only successful,
if your mother-in-law says you are. ( W.van Broeckhoven )
|
253
|
You only know a language,
when you can communicate with children. ( Jonckheere )
|
254
|
Never say: "That's the end of
it", when you own a TV-set. ( Guy Mortier )
|
255
|
Theologian: Someone who can prove anything provided it's
invisible. ( F.Jansen )
|
256
|
Never buy a theatre play-bill. The moment you want to read it, they usually
turn down the lights. ( Kadé Bruin )
|
257
|
Many people spend their time
trying to organize their work. Once this is done, they return home. (
Jonckheere )
|
258
|
It's a stupid thing to leave all
and nothing up to
luck. ( Greshoff )
|
259
|
Imagine everyone reached the top, life would be dull at the bottom. ( F.Jansen )
|
260
|
People digging a tunnel are to meet each other sooner or later. If not
so, you get two tunnels for the price of one. ( F.Jansen
)
|
261
|
Peace: period during which there's a war on
elsewhere. ( Durnez )
|
262
|
True happiness always comes
after the last disappointment. ( Jan Walravens )
|
263
|
A friend is someone who
wishes you less harm than you wish on yourself. (
Buddingh )
|
264
|
A real friend is
someone who's there for you in good and bad times. (
Bomans )
|
265
|
Some people are friends with
everyone, but nobody's friend. ( Jonckheere )
|
266
|
Kindness is a poem everyone understands. ( G.Van Acker )
|
267
|
I remember a time that air was clean and sex was dirty. ( W.van
Broeckhoven )
|
268
|
Things used to be better than nowadays, but fortunately that's over. (
P.Theys )
|
269
|
When looking at your wife makes
you think of Picasso, you'd better call a lawyer. (
Carmiggelt )
|
270
|
My second wife ran off so
fast, she caught up with my first. ( Weemoedt )
|
271
|
A woman's bravery lies in her heart, not in her eyes. So don't
let her mislead you with her down-hearted look. ( O. van
der Hallen )
|
272
|
Only women in soup ads look
forward to their husband's homecoming. ( Carmiggelt )
|
273
|
Amongst all means to make women
attractive, the most effective one is to make her happy.(
J.de Valckenaere )
|
274
|
Only women understand the
meaning of life, as they procreate and bear it. (
M.Gijsen )
|
275
|
Women are like water. You can find them in three
conditions: boiling, frozen or vapourized. ( Ruyslinck )
|
276
|
Women save their tears until there's a man around. (
Buddingh )
|
277
|
In conversations with women, you
cannot do them a bigger favour than ask them to describe
an other woman. ( M.Gijsen )
|
278
|
My wife manages our children,
our money etc. Only the goldfish belongs to me. (
Verbeeck )
|
279
|
He who exchanges a woman aged
40 for two women aged 20, neither understands the value
of money, nor the value of women. ( J.de Valckenaere )
|
280
|
If you want to make sure a woman
listens to you, make her the subject of the conversation.
( Vercammen )
|
281
|
When talking about women, one
always tends to exagerate. ( Vercammen )
|
282
|
And then again, you have those
years, during which you don't feel like working. (
Verbeeck )
|
283
|
I knew a woman once
who never told gossip, who had never made any remarks
behind her sister-in-law's back, who knew how to keep a
secret. I don't know what became of her, though. She must
have burst I guess. ( A.M.G.Schmidt )
|
284
|
A woman is pretty when she's
prettier naked than half-naked. ( Vercammen )
|
285
|
There's always someone who needs you, be it the undertaker. (Guy Mortier )
|
286
|
After her husband's death, the widow had
to face up to such a notorial fuss, she wished he'd never
died. ( F.Jansen )
|
287
|
"Did you know he actually works
now?" - "Well, that surely sounds like him,
anything for the money." ( W.van Broeckhoven )
|
288
|
I'm self-confident. At least,
I think I am. ( W.van Broeckhoven )
|
289
|
Self-knowledge is like a hospital bed: clean but painful. (
O.Van der Hallen )
|
290
|
Doctor to patient: "First the
good news: a new disease has been named after you." ( W.van
Broeckhoven )
|
291
|
Water already killed more people
than alcohol. Take the flood, for example. ( Jan Hoet )
|
292
|
I think I'm starting to get deaf. It
seemes as if I hear less and less gossip about me lately.
( W.Martens )
|
293
|
If I were a bit more modest,
I'd be perfect. ( Van Molle )
|
294
|
Always be sincere,
also when you don't mean it. ( Eyskens )
|
295
|
Recently, I saw a young man with green hair.
If I had green hair, I'd dye it. ( Finckers )
|
296
|
The advantage of baldheadedness is that, in case of unexspected visitors, you
only need to straighten your tie. ( M.de Jonghe )
|
297
|
I love nature,
but I need a drink to go with it. ( W.Kloos )
|
298
|
A father does not give
advice, he gives an example. ( J.Rogge )
|
299
|
People's fame is only an appearance? You can only be great in
small things. ( Toon Hermans )
|
300
|
I really can't remember ever
having suffered from amnesia. ( W.Claes )
|